Erk to the Diary Room (Episode 2 - HM's go in)
The HM's actually went into the house according to the media on Saturday night and the program that aired on Sunday night wasn't live. I'm not surprised by that by the way, it has happened before (and that's the theme of this blog, I think).
I didn't watch the show on Sunday night because I needed sleep because I am on morning shift (but not super-duper early mornings, thankfully!) so I thought I'd tape it and watch it after work on Monday. So while the show is pre-recorded, my blog isn't. I am typing as I watch the tape.
The first impression that I got was that the music is the same and so are the opening graphics. I actually might do a check list.
* Theme music: Check
* Opening Graphics: Check
* Mike Goldman doing the voice over: Check
* Gretel: Check (although she looks like she's had some work done. Is it Krystal from last year miming with Gretel's voice over the speakers?)
* The venue: Check
* The ramp from the stage out of the arena: Check
* Hot chicks under the age of 25: Check (so far after girl 6, no guys)
* House: Check (although they have gone very green this year)
* Chicks talking about not showering naked: Check
* People acting the same every year when they enter the house: Check
At the time of typing this sentence, there are 6 chicks in the house. The chick (I don't remember names yet, that usually happens until week 2) who keeps making that popping noise with her mouth (what, are you 12?) is SO annoying. I think I should be watching a tape of last year's entry. I see that they have a Mormon chick in the house.
* Gretel promising secrets: Check
I'm going to the fridge during an ad.
*goes to fridge, returns with munchies*
The BB related ads have already started. Back from the ad and BB has spoken for the first time prior to the arrival of HM 7 who is a guy. He's a nerd. And he's loud and proud (his words) who meets chicks and has dates from the interweb (not that there's anything wrong with that). He's on a "Nerd Crusade" - let's put him in a corner with the Mormon chick. 1 nerd, 7 chicks. This should be car crash TV. And now BB has told our resident chicks that the guys are coming. These chicks are watching our resident nerd on the screen from the DR (Diary Room) and they are drooling over him, I doubt that would happen outside.Now we have a male underwear model. Great. Instant impression - Bodie is a wanker!
Actually, this is getting painful to blog about while typing at the same time. But the chicks are locked in the DR and they have just seen Undie Boy and Nerd Boy (if they get a name this early, they'll get stuck with it!) and UB and NB have just met. And settle down girls, they are just about to let a Fireman into the house. Ladies, the Fireman is very magical. If you rub his helmet, he will spit in your eye. 10 points if you understand that quote........
Mr Fireman is the first likeable guy to go into the house. Just watching for the reaction from the chicks. Gretel's just done two fireman jokes but my fireman joke is better! HA!
Another ad. More munchies. Anyone would think I haven't eaten today.....
*goes to fridge*
So far, the most interesting thing to happen is that BB has let the chicks watch the guys enter the house. Speaking of the house, I should comment on it while I have the chance. BB has made a massive effort to appear green this year. Water tanks, lots of recycled materials, 4 minute showers, a waterless urinial in the guy's loos (the loos aren't bisexual this year) and one big bedroom.
Gretel's back. Quiet as a mouse. We are up to Mr Fireman, HM9. Enter, Fireman. Queue shot of drooling girls. He reminded me of Frysie, actually. Here's HM10 who reminds me of Hotdogs. Oh great. He says in his intro (and I basically quote) "I am asexual because I love myself" Oh please. Are we finished yet? Oh we can't be finished as the chicks haven't officially met the guys yet.
HM10 (Mr A Sexual) has entered the house and one chick's gaydar has gone off. Good job, Lover Boy! My gaydar went off for HM11 but he did have a wife oops, he still does but he broke up with a girl 2 weeks ago but now he tells Gretel he isn't with his wife either. He is spending the next 3 months as a way of figuring his stuff (lots of stuff, he is 6 foot 6 after all!) out! It's not Thorpie, is it? Queue drooling girls as he walks in. I reckon I could have walked in and they would have drooled.
Now HM12 (by my count) calls himself Australia's only metrosexual truck driver (is it still cool to be a metro?) and he has a wife and small child. He is going to wear his ring in the house, let's see how long it takes the drooling DR chicks to notice. Speaking of DR chicks, let's cross to them. Guys still haven't met chicks. No, we crossed to the guys, now to the chicks. Queue statement about looks not being everything. Another commercial. It must nearly be over. Guys will have to meet chicks soon.
Forgot to mention earlier that when HM1 went in, they waved a handheld metal detector over her to see "if she was carrying anything that may be used to write or contact the outside world" but when the wand went over the chick's mic gear, it didn't beep. Now I would have thought there would be some metal in there - maybe it was turned off. Someone give BB the job of protecting Sydney Airport - NOT!
Wow, finished a thought before the commercials ended. Take a breath, Erk.
Now the guys and chicks have met in the lounge room. Queue lots of small talk that is hard to understand as all 12 mics appear to be on and active and at the same level. At least one guy has figured out that the chicks have been there longer and have had the first of many boozes (except for the Mormon Chick who doesn't drink).
Now it is up to us to boost BB's Big Fat Beefy Wallet (BBBFBW - TM Mike Goldman) and it is time for us to vote in one chick and one guy to be the last 2 HM's (out of a pool of 6, 3 of each) making that a total of 14 by my count. I wouldn't mind any of those chicks if they were to be admitted. Mike's done his first voting voiceover for the year.
Commerical.
Let's get the 3 guys out of the way and let's say goodnight to the house. Please. I hope this first episode isn't indicative of the season (tonight seems to be following the other years perfectly) otherwise it might be a case of same old, same old.
BB has now opened the bedrooms. So let's see who gets what seats on the bus. Now BB has opened the bathroom. Queue many random voices. One chick has discovered that there is a female only toilet. Now it's time to meet the 3 guys.
Break.
BB releases HM's from bedroom. Now they are playing a game of Truth. Truth - I'm getting bored of writing this blog and watching the show so I might stop the former. Now they are in the house - let's see what happens. Let them on their toes, BB!
Myspace friends - Up 2 to 108
Standup Update: No gigs
BB Update: HM's are in the house.
Oops, don't stop typing Erk. BB has a surprise. Hohum. Commerical. I'll use this time to add some colour earlier in the blog.
Myspace friends - Up 2 to 108
Standup Update: No gigs
BB Update: HM's are in the house.
Waiting for BB's surprise. Gretel's in the BB Control Room. I think.....here we are.....the announcement is coming. I think it is the one that goes "you are getting no coin. *insert evil laugh here*."
BB starts by basically saying "GAME ON" and now he is playing the role of Sheriff BB. The Game has changed. Queue the song "The Game" by End of Fashion. BB tells them that they may want to leave. Now he has planted the seed of more money. Coin is zero. HM's are stunned silent. Leave the DR now very unsilent (is that a word?) - some guy says "a million dollars is alright" and some chick says something like "who cares about a million dollars". Yeah right!
Game on, moles! And Gretel's got another surprise. There's a hot chick and one of the other hot chicks is her mother. Oops, been done. There are a pair of twins in there. Oops, done that too.
Commercial including "Rove's next" - got to love the Merrick and Rosso ads! Rosso's beardless again so I can't do my standard Merrick and Rosso joke that I have the body of Merrick (and almost his name!) and the beard of Rosso.
Now Gretel's in the camera run promising a secret and there are HM's playing Paper Rock Scissors. FFS people, you have a huge house with lots of people and lots of booze and millions would trade places and you are rocking off! FFS!
C'mon Gretel, hurry up! Maybe this trick will work! Roll credits!
Myspace friends - Up 2 to 108
Standup Update: No gigs
BB Update: HM's are in the house.
Gretel's now in a white room that isn't a punishment or isn't a rewards room but we'll have to see what the white room tomorrow (Monday) night. The HM's have now seen the secret white room on a screen and they have no idea but several theories behind the purpose of the room. Now there's that familiar sound and the closing credits so here's my closing credits - let's see what happens!
Thanks for reading my official BB Blog here on Myspace about the opening night. Stay tuned for further blogs, feel free to subscribe if you haven't already! Also, I welcome any comments. Queue credits...........
Myspace friends - Up 2 to 108
Standup Update: No gigs
BB Update: HM's are in the house.
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