Blog - ETTDR MS33/2007

Erk to the Diary Room (Episode 33 - Noms 6 review, more f**king intruders!)

I'm deadseto mado as hello! I've just finished watching noms and BB had a great idea and he f**king ruined it!


insert calm blue pool water *here*


Anyhoo to recap the most explosive noms for this year (and that's only *my* opinion here), BB decided that the HM's have formed alliances and that they are talking in code about noms and who they will nominate. Just BRING IT, BIATCH! You've encouraged them all season to do it in the Rewards Room after FNL so of course they are going to take advantage. Just declare "GAME ON, MOLES" and let them talk about noms all they want. After all, only Jamie the Nerd, RTB and the two new chicks don't know about it, the rest do. It is one thing that BB Australia has been missing compared to other BB's around the world, or so I've been told.


So BB says that you can't vote for personality, under the radar or for what pisses you off about someone but only for strategy and he announced it at the start of the noms show. So far, so good. Good move, BB. Kudos to you. So far tonight, AAA+++, will buy again.


Gretel announces that there will be five evictees and that there will be a double this week. Still AAA+++ will buy again. Then while the halfwit HM's are nominating intruder chicks (who by the way are no longer intruder chicks, they are HM's 999 and 1000 this season) because they are trying to say that the intruder chicks who are now HM's are a bigger threat when we all know that intruders rarely if ever last an eviction or two (for an example, please go ahead and ask nick@evictionville.bbaustralia07.com.au - if you can find him) so why wast a vote? However, still AAA+++, will buy again.


But I'll bold the next point that made me cringe and so f**king angry:


GRETEL SAID THAT THERE WILL BE TWO MORE F**KING INTRUDERS!


As if we haven't had enough HM's this year! So on Sunday, two arses will feel the eviction door slamming and 2 more people (HM's 1001 & 1002) will be entering! The way they are going, every viewer this year will be a HM and if SSE and Channel 10 and BB keep going on with this s**t, the only people watching will be the former HM's and the BB crew!! FFS, how many people are you going to throw in! Is this an admission that the good ship Big Brother is sinking fast and that the crew (ie the HM's) were poorly selected and were just hired for their looks rather than for their shipping abilities?



So this week before Billy's FNL super power, there was Travo, Mr HTB, ETB, ATB, Mr Mirrors (Thomas), JTN (Jamie the Nerd) and DanYELLa up for possible nomination. So Billy saved ATB and nuked RTB instead so there are still 7 people up for eviction. Of course with that many people up, he was going to nuke RTB rather than Joel (now aka by me as Rove) or Zoltan and he can't nuke himself. And he's probably still wondering who that treehugging chick is.


So I thought that with 7 people up for eviction and 2 going that Late (from the Up Mike with Late show) would have 5 minutes of 1902 numbers to say. So he did but for some reason he said that Zoltan was up and gave Zoltan's name, face and number instead of Travo! Maybe Late didn't record a Travo piece of audio or someone in the control room was fuddling wuth the swutch.


It's a double, the HM's don't know it but my predictions for noms tonight were totally out the window when BB changed the rules. But please oh please BB, no more f**king intruders!



PS: I'M NOT CRYING! (seriously, I'm not). There was a cryfest last night when STB got a room onstage with Mr STB. Lucky Zoltan and Mr Mirrors didn't see that "delightful" bit of TV.


Myspace friends: Steady at 132
Stand Up Update: Unchanged.
BB Update: Double eviction. 7 people up. More f**king intruders!
Erk Pod Update: Erk Pod eps 9/10 up and ep 11 based on the above to be recorded tomorrow.

Blog - ETTDR MS32/2007

Erk to the Diary Room (Episode 32 - Eviction 5 Review, Noms 6 preview)

I can't say that I am surprised that STB got to look at herself in the eviction mirror last night. I don't think that she will be missed by the viewers or the HM's. Gretel interviewed the boyfriend that STB has been keeping herself for. Zoltan and Thomas would have been interested to see that Ken didn't appear to be in Barbie's league. Gretel asked Mr STB how long they had been going out for and he said 6 weeks. I thought that they'd been in the house for 6 weeks so he'd been going with her only for the time she'd been in the house but I've been told this afternoon that he meant that he had been going out with her for 6 weeks before entering the house. So the guy has had 6 weeks on, 6 weeks off. And boy, did they need to get a room when they were on stage!


Anyhoo, Billy has the FNL Super Power and I think that ETB and ATB will be safe from nominations. Both intruders can nominate and be nominated for the first time so they are both easy targets. I reckon that the evictees will be RTB, Jamie the Nerd and Laura the wannabe hippie and that ETB will be saved. However, anyone who nominates ETB while Billy has the FNL Super Power is a fool.


Myspace friends: Up 1 to 132
Stand Up Update: Steady
BB Update: STB out of the house. Mirrors in the house don't need to be cleaned as often now but cameramen upset (I presume)
Erk Pod Update: "Erk to the Diary Room" episode 5 (Erk Pod 09) and Erk Pod 10 recorded today and going up soon.

Blog - ETTDR MS31/2007

Erk to the Diary Room (Episode 31 - Jamie cracks it, Oz FNL, Eviction 5 Preview)

We were trundling along when BB finally finally fired up for the week on Thursday night on Up Mike with Late. This week, they have been doing a Bollywood production and eating Indian. If that isn't enough (and surely that is!), there was a variation of the old Masters and Servants task as well. The actors were the masters and the extras were the servants. And boy oh boy, didn't some people in general but ETB in particular hate being a servant!


But the biggest crack of the week was Jamie the Nerd. On Thursday night, BB decided to throw the actors a party in the Rewards Room while the extras were outside. In possibly the longest time that ATB has been away from ETB, ATB finally has shown some independant form of life after having some booze. So her and Jamie the Nerd and Mr HTB were having a discussion about how Jamie sits around and analyzes people. ATB said that she likes fun Jamie but not nerd Jamie. But I think that if that is who nerd Jamie is, that is who he is. In the end, ATB kept going, Jamie kept going and both of them ended up in tears even though Jamie fired up and shouted "I AM NOT CRYING!" - I think the fallout will continue until at least nominations on Monday.


Anyhoo, FNL was not Indian night as I thought it would have been given the task this week but it was Outback Night. The tasks were pretty much the same as usual but there were some funny bits where the HM's had to make human damper and ETB got penalised for not finishing the wheelchair mounted dunny race properly. But come on BB if someone cheats like ETB did by not finishing and getting out of her chair to pull the finishing string, you penalise her arse more than 5 seconds!

In the first event, they finally realised that the second team gets a huge advantage by watching the first team. So the second team didn't see the first team and it worked well except it lasted for only one game. Then it was situation normal. Also, Laura was the last person picked and wasn't allowed to play until BB needed someone to even up the second last game. So instead of saying simply that she could play like everyone else in that situation, BB said that she had to eat a witchity grub first. So Laura did eat the grub eventually (she is SO not a hippie!) and she made it through to the final but Billy won and took Zoltan into the Rewards Room. All my usual comments about FNL remain, it goes on too long and the games are very similar each week.


Finally, it is time to predict who is going to be evicted tomorrow. It has been hard because on the daily show at least, you have hardly seen STB or RTB so the main potential evictee that has been seen is Jamie the Nerd and after Thursday night's outburst, I think he might go but I would not be surprised if STB goes for simply being a mirror loving princess.


Myspace friends: Up 2 to 131
Stand Up Update: More practice material reported
BB Update: Billy and Zoltan in the RR
Erk Pod Update: Latest episode is Erk Pod 08

Blog - ETTDR MS30/2007

Erk to the Diary Room (Episode 30 - Noms 5 Review)

I pretty much - got noms right. After BB trying to get his voice onto as much footage as possible, it was frustrating viewing. Someone would nominate someone else for a good reason and BB would either say:

* You are not being clear
* You nominated them last week
* You have nominated person X for the last Y weeks
* Why haven't you tried to resolve it with them?
* You are not nominating for the group
* But how does that affect your time in the house?
* Get to the point, you are running out of time
* What are you really saying?
* Be honest


and then finally usually:

* Accepted

even if you had spent the last 60 seconds being drilled by BB then BB decides that he has played with you long enough and then he turns into a softie.


Somehow, ETB escaped being nominated and wasn't put up because of the twist. Jamie the Nerd, Zoltan and RTB were up, Jamie getting 11 votes. Then it was time for Mr HTB to use his FNL Super Power and despite nominating Zoltan for 2 points, he decided to save him. No, wait a sec.....Mr HTB wanted to save Zoltan and put himself up but BB said that he could not put himself up. Interestingly, you can save yourself but not put yourself up. So he saved Zoltan and put STB up instead.


So the 3 people who are up are STB, RTB and Jamie the Nerd. I think it might be time for STB to look at herself in the mirror in the golf cart on the way to the Eviction Stage. Just on STB for a second here, she has knocked back Zoltan and Thomas because she has a boyfriend on the outside. I seem to recall that she had been going out with him for 2 weeks! Girls, if you were going into the BB house and just met someone 2 weeks before entering, would you dump them so you could possibly hook up in the house? After all, STB has now known Zoltan and Thomas for 6 weeks and when you put in that they are living together 24/7, isn't that like 6 months in real time?


Myspace friends: Up 2 to 129
Stand Up Update: Steady
BB Update: Trundling along
Erk Pod Update: Episodes did not get recorded yesterday.

Blog - ETTDR MS29/2007

Erk to the Diary Room (Episode 29 - Eviction 4 Review, Noms 5 Preview)

Not much of a shock here, boys and girls. Nick was loose shunted into the BB eviction depot and he will not be missed inside or outside the house. What a negative Nancy that guy was/is! Does anyone share my opinion that he has the hots for Thomas? Nick got 51% of the merged vote to evict and someone else (Mr HTB?) got 47% to save on the merged vote.


Nominations on Monday will be the same as usual, interesting. RTB, ETB and STB are most likely out of the chicks to be nominated and Jamie the Nerd and Zoltan out of the guys. Will ETB get saved AGAIN? It's up to Mr HTB this week and he did say to Thomas in the RR that he isn't going to hold a grudge against ETB so he may indeed not save her this week. It's hard to narrow it down to 3. It might be close and there might be 4 going! My tip is that 4 people will be up.


Myspace friends: Steady at 127
Stand Up Update: No gigs planned, first performance available on Myspace and also on iTunes
BB Update: The village lost it's token gay and the village does not appear to be upset
Erk Pod Update: More episodes to be recorded Monday.

Blog - ETTDR MS28/2007

Erk to the Diary Room (Episode 28 - Z Grade FNL, Eviction 4 preview)

Not much has been going on in BB this week after the latest intruder chicks arrived. FNL was somewhat ironically based on wannabe celebrities and I alternated between the NRL telecast on channel 9 and FNL on channel 10. The games were pretty similar to what has been served up before and isn't worth writing much about. In the end, Mr HTB won with Ian Thorpe coming second. Mr HTB took Ian into the Rewards Room.


This week, Mr HTB, RTB and Nick are up for eviction tonight. Non original HM's don't usually last past their first eviction. While technically Nick is a HM and not an intruder, he wasn't an original. If that wasn't enough, Nick has been a massive whinger on TV this week and you've hardly seen RTB. Also, Mr HTB seems to have grown an extra leg since HTB has left so I think he'll be OK for this week and seeing as though he has the FNL Super Power, he'll be OK next week as well.


My podcast version of "Erk to the Diary Room" is now available on iTunes as a part of Erk Pod (search "Erk" or "Erk Pod") and there are a couple of catch up episodes up. I have one catch up episode to record tomorrow and then we can cover the "action" at least bi-weekly.


Myspace friends: Up 3 to 127
Stand Up Update: No gigs planned pending work
BB Update: Plodding along
Erk Pod Update: 5 episodes up, now available on iTunes.

Blog - ETTDR MS27/2007

Erk to the Diary Room (Episode 27 - HTB Bones ATB and 2 female Ninjas)

Before I start this episode, I have some good news. I have set up a podcast called Erk Pod (of course it is!) which for the moment is available by putting the following address into iTunes. To subscribe (at least until the feed is accepted by iTunes and is available in the iStore), in iTunes go to Advanced > Subscribe to Podcast and then put in this address: http://erkpod.mypodcast.com/rss.xml


Because we are 5 weeks into BB, I will be doing a massive update/opinion piece to bring my podcast up to date to today and with any luck, this episode (which will be Erk Pod episode 03) will exclusively bring you up to speed if you haven't been watching BB from the start. Also it will be handy for those people who haven't read the previous "Erk to the Diary Room" blogs here on Myspace to get up to date. Also, you can hear my Stand Up Comedy on the same feed and in the future, there will be general opinion pieces as well.


But don't worry, you will still get regular blogging here. Now onto episode 27......


Tuesday night was a massive night which was really badly done by BB.
Considering that we are only 5 weeks into BB, they have gone into intruder mode rather early. We had the original HM's, the White Room, the Starburst winners, Mr X and now 5 weeks in, we have intruders!


However, BB wasn't happy with just giving us new toys to play with. They are trying to rush too much and anyone would be excused for thinking that they are trying to do everything as early as possible in case they get axed.


There was the Daily show and then BB started ATB's 21st birthday. Then what seemed 2 minutes later starting the party, BB asked Mr HTB to go to the DR. So Mr HTB did and he was told that HTB was getting evicted tonight and was had 5 minutes to say goodbye and had no time to pack.


Mr HTB was gutted and went into the backyard and told HTB the news that she guessed by looking at his face. So after asking BB out loud from the yard if HTB had time to change, BB said no. Normally, the DR is the only place to ask BB a question and his usual answer is "I'll get back to you".


So after BB hit HTB in the arse with the eviction door (go on Gretel, use THAT one!) it was time for ATB's party to continue. Then seemingly 2 minutes later, BB stopped the party again and said that there were a couple of Ninja servants but don't talk to the Ninjas (great idea for a t-shirt, that!). Then without giving the Ninjas (who were actually the intruders dressed as Ninjas) a chance to do much and to see if the HM's would tell that the Ninjas weren't actually Ninjas at all, BB revealed that they were intruders. Of course, there was the "Intruder Alert" siren but I didn't see "Intruder Alert" on the TV screens because they were outside.


But of course, the HM's knew that an Intruder Alert means that a BB sanctioned intruder and not a person trying to break into the joint and BB told them straight away. He could at least told themselves to lock themselves down or something. So then it was back to the party and introducing the intruders around the house at the same time and then shortly after it was time to break up the party AGAIN (!) to show HTB's "Message from the Grave".


Memo to self: Do not let BB organise a party or a function for me.



BBB (Big BB) sounds like he is SO not interested no matter what the situation is. CBB (Chick BB) has been getting a lot of airtime this year even for stuff like announcing tasks and even she sounds a bit bored but she sounds less like a zombie compared to BBB.


As far as I am concerned, BB tried to throw too much in during one night. HTB has been a major person in the house and regardless if you like her or not, she did not deserve the eviction she got with a handful of people there. Gretel promised her a "proper eviction" (my term, not hers) on Sunday but that is not the point. HTB could have went on Sunday prior to the evictee or they could have announced that HTB was the only evictee or something different. But they could have done it a lot better and then went back to the house, got Mr HTB's reaction etc.



Like her or not, ATB deserved a proper 21st party and there was no need for either HTB to exit or for the intruders to enter tonight. Turning 21 is a big thing (even if to me, ATB seems immature) and BB's actions weren't good, especially when you are struggling for viewers and struggling for interesting content. I don't think that switching between 3 distinct plot lines in that short period was very good at all.


Was BB thinking at all? Does BB care? Will the intruders improve the house? Did anyone notice that I haven't mentioned or introduced the intruders yet? 2 brunette chicks that look (and act?) like the rest of the female population of the house except they aren't blonde. There was not a lot of time to figure out them during this show, especially considering the parallel plot lines. I'll reserve judgement on them for a little bit but one of the chicks reckons she is a greenie but it is rumoured that she isn't the big hippie she says she is and the other chick has a Brazilian......oops, she is Brazilian.......oops she was born in Brazil but moved to Australia and she doesn't have a hot Brazilian accent. And she dances. She could be dancing against DWNT very very shortly as intruders do not have a good record of a long stay in the house, Vesna being a notable exception from a couple of seasons ago.


So where to for BB now that he has played the intruder card so early?



Myspace friends: Up 2 to 124
Stand Up Update: My 2 pieces on my Stand Up profile are now available on podcast
BB Update: HTB boned, intruders in, Erk not happy with BB
Erk Pod Update: 2 episodes up, one planned for recording tomorrow, iTunes pending

Blog - ETTDR MS26/2007

Erk to the Diary Room (Episode 26 - Noms 4 Review)

While I was out doing stand up comedy, what a night in the BB house! In point form:


* Team HTB to be broken up by BB. HTB decides to go so you could say BB boned HTB. Mr HTB was crying, probably because BB boned her before he did! We should have been given the chance to vote one or both of HTB out and I am surprised that BB didn't leave it to us to decide so he could earn more SMS coin. Word on the street is that HTB is leaving BB to go to a wedding and Mr HTB has to leave soon as he only took limited leave from work.


* STB doesn't know how to gargle! BB tried to teach her but failed. It is the type of thing that we should see on the daily show not as a nom snippet. One of the funniest things I've seen this season.


* ETB, Nick and RTB got nominated but DWNT saved ETB so ETB is saved again for what seems the 50th time!


* Thomas was wearing make up! No wonder my Gaydar went off when I first saw him? What guy wears make up in the BB house!


* I think I am going to call Travis "Trucko" from now on. It is obviously his favourite letter in the alphabeto based on all the o's he has added to his wordos.


* I think they should be able to talk about noms in or out of the RR. ETB and ATB got busted talking about it on Sunday night and they got sent to the punishment room and had to separate different coloured hair. In the end, BB also gave them one nom point. Fire up, BB! Punish them properly or declare it open season! ETB didn't get punished in the end because DWNT saved her and ATB wasn't up.


* I think (at least this early in the week) that Nick will go this week.


* Intruders tomorrow night. Both are said to be stereotypical BB chicks with brown hair. One is said to be Bree's cousin.


* I reckon a noise and the words "Intruder Alert" will appear on the screen in the house when the intruders come in.

Myspace friends: Steady at 122.
Stand Up Update: Did alright last night @ the Sando
BB Update: HTB out, intruders in.

Blog - ETTDR MS25/2007

Erk to the Diary Room (Episode 25 - Eviction 3 Review, Noms 4 Preview)

Well I predicted it again, Demet was booted. She decided to call herself at one stage "the new Bodie" and like BWNR, she was booted. Although she has been bitchy and a back stabber and is now out of the house, BB has given me a reason with Demet to give her a nickname. Just like BWNR is Brodie with no R (because people called him Brodie when he entered the house), Demet is now DWNT (Demet with no T) because her name is pronounced without the T but in successive weeks, Gretel and Big BB pronounced her name with a T. Now as someone who is used to his name being mis-spelt and mispronounced, it is a pain. It's that lack of attention to detail that hardcore fans notice.


Now if you remember back to FNL and my previous episode, DWNT won FNL and one of the tasks is to save someone from nomination and to put someone up instead. Mike said on Friday that if DWNT was booted on Sunday, on Monday she would still have this power from the stage with Gretel on Monday. Some could say that if she isn't good enough to stay in the house, that power should go to someone else like Travis who did come second in FNL.


However, BB being BB, there has to be some drama. Instead of Gretel asking DWNT who she decides on Monday once she knows who is nominated, BB got to her to come to the DR after she got evicted and write down in order the HM's she wanted to save and evict! That's now in an envelope and (if you believe BB) won't be opened until Monday night.


So who will be up for eviction on Monday? Seeing as though DWNT has the FNL Super Power, Team HTB will be up for sure. RTB, ETB or STB might be up for the chicks and Zoltan and Nick for the guys. But if ETB is up, DWNT will save her. Noms will be very interesting and they all should be able to think of 69 good reasons to get rid of each person.


Myspace friends: Steady at 121
Stand up Update: Hopefully tonight's the night for Homer J
BB Update: DWNT thrown out on her arse

Blog - ETTDR MS24/2007

Erk to the Diary Room (Episode 24 - FNL Review for my favourite beach chickie)

First of all, I'd like to wave in Jord's direction. She is a constant commenter and kudoser (is that a word!) to my BB blogs and she loves reading them. She was at a Missy Higgins gig when FNL was on and she has asked me to report the goings on at FNL rather than reading for herself at a website. As I promised, I was asleep during FNL and I taped it to watch it later as the whole shebang takes too long as I have said here before.


So with a quick wave to Jord *wave* completed, it's time to get into the sluggos and get some waves.




My prediction of fatigue based accidents in FNL didn't happen because BB was a pussy and ended the lack of sleep task well before FNL started so they had time to sleep beforehand.


The odd one out of Team HTB this week was Mr HTB. The theme was beach night and the HM's were dressed up as lifeguards (I do it better!) but there was no sand to be seen!


Game 1 (started 15 minutes into the telecast for team 1 and 27 minutes into the coverage for team 2). It was a Slip and Slip course with Ninjas throwing stuff at HM's instead of the other team as has happened in the past. A typical obstacle course game that was a little like a game last week. Round 1 winners were Travis (captain), ATB, Joel, Thomas, ETB, Zoltan.


2 HM's were invited back for round 2 because they need 4 people per team, Demet and Nick. Game 2 was a game of blindfolded beach (except for the goalkeeper that isn't blindfolded but has their legs tied together) soccer played on lino. Starting 41 minutes into the telecast, the result at fulltime was a 0-0 draw (as soccer players, they make great HM's!). There was a lot of dancing and a lot of kicking at thin air but not much kicking of the ball. To break the deadlock, there was a game of 1 on 1 between ETB and Joel (who scored an own goal in the end) so ETB's team (Travis, ETB, ATB, Demet) won and went through to game 3.


Then they got BWNR into the studio with TJ. They got TJ in Surfers to get 50 guys phone numbers in 50 minutes. She did. Then they got BWNR doing some "cooking show" based on the Starburst pudding incident. That was the only non game thing I watched.


Game 3 (started 1 hour and 4 minutes into the show) saw two teams of 2 people going down a course siamese-twin style over a slip and slide course wearing giant thongs and they had to get flags out of various containers featuring various creepy crawlies in water and placing the flags into a sandcastle. ETB and ATB were together and Demet and Travis were together. Demet and Travis showed great teamwork and won and made it through to the final.


The final (started 1 hr 27 minutes in) was a coconut basketball shootout. Demet kicked Travis' butt and got 5 more goals than Travis so she won. Not a bad effort to go from round 1 loser to winner.


Demet decided to choose Joel but first asked BB if the person that goes into the RR had to sleep in the same bed as her and BB said that they can sleep anywhere they want. Demet wanted to take ETB or ATB into the RR but she said they've already been in there and Joel really wants to go into the RR. She even told the HM's that the HM's that she wants to take in there have been already so when you consider that ETB, ATB, Team HTB and Travis have been in the room, you get an idea of who Demet considers friends. She even told Joel that he has to sleep in another bed in front of the HM's. The whole thing says "bitch!" to me!


Demet chose box 3 and won the scooter. She will be seen driving around Lakemba on her scooter on Monday, I'm hoping! I did like her before but I don't anymore. She's acting like a total bitch and who two faced. She'll get the power to change evictions regardless of if she is in the house for noms on Monday. If she is in the house, she'll do it in the DR but if she isn't, she'll do it with Gretel on the stage. So regardless of where she is, will Demet get revenge on Team HTB or has she found a new target?


Overall the games were OK (I would have loved to have seen the soccer game with more people in it as game one) and it was a lot better to tape it and fast forward the ads and the other crap and that is what I will do every Friday night if I am home or not!


Myspace friends: Steady at 121
Standup Update: Intro recorded
BB Update: Demet and Joel sleeping in different beds in the RR